What Sloths and Potted Plants Can Teach Us About Helping Kids Get the Most From Their Piano Lessons
by Karen Weese
When she was little, Hannah Barteck had the same bedtime routine as every other in kid in America, but with a twist: Every night, she’d brush her teeth, wash her face, and put on her pajamas… and then plunk herself down at the piano to practice.
It’s a habit she now recommends to her own piano students, and it’s surprisingly effective. “It’s helpful to work practice time into a pre-existing routine, and bedtime is great, because after school, they may have homework, or maybe they want to play outside because it’s going to get dark soon,” she says. “But if you make it that last thing, there aren’t a lot of distractions.” (Besides, what kid doesn’t want another excuse to put off going to bed?)
As a parent, sometimes it’s hard to know how to help our kids make the most of the activities and lessons we so enthusiastically sign them up for, and simple tips like this can make a big difference. We asked several piano teachers for the advice and insights they thought would be most valuable for parents to know.
Your child can start piano at any age… but you’re probably better off waiting until they can read. “Before a child can actually read words, it’s harder to teach them to read music, so I encourage parents to wait until their child is a reader before they start piano lessons,” says Linda Filcek, a piano teacher in Mattawan, Michigan. For most kids, that’s first or second grade. You can start them sooner, she adds, but you’ll get “more bang for your buck” if you wait, since by six or seven, their hands are bigger and their fine motor skills are more developed, too.
If your younger child is begging for lessons, it’s okay to start younger, says Barteck, who teaches piano in Cincinnati, Ohio, but “the teacher needs to understand that a four-year-old isn’t going to sit at the bench for half an hour.” When Barteck teaches very young kids, she offers a twenty-minute lesson, and gets the kids up and moving, clapping and stomping out quarter notes with their feet.
It’s okay to shop around for a teacher—if you’re nice about it. Finding the right teacher can play a huge role in your child’s success, so it’s worth taking the time to find one with a personality and style that works for your kid. Ask other parents for recommendations. Call up a local music store and ask which teacher would be the best match for your child’s age, experience, and personality. Set up lessons with a teacher for a few weeks, sit in on the lesson, and see how it goes. “You don’t have to say, ‘We’re trying YOU out,’ but just say, ‘We’re giving lessons a try, and we’d like to try a month of lessons to see how it goes,’” says Barteck.
Also, don’t assume anything based on the teacher’s resume. That acclaimed pianist with intimidating music degrees may be surprisingly terrific with young children; the sweet old lady from church might not have as much patience for little kids as you think. Give them both a try and see.
That little toy keyboard is not going to cut it. Barteck was baffled when one bright, young student could never seem to make progress—until she found out that the little girl had been practicing on a 32-key Casio while sitting on her bedroom floor. “It was like, ‘Well, no wonder you have flyaway fingers, because you practice with your hands bent back,” instead of with proper posture and curved hand position, she says. “The mom’s logic was, ‘Well, we’ll get her a better instrument when she improves,’ and I had to tell her, ‘Look, she’s never going to improve on that instrument.’”
An old rattle-trap piano is also not the solution. “Aunt Ethel’s old clunker piano is not the answer,” says Scott Besser, a piano teacher in Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania. “A good instrument makes a big difference.” A digital keyboard can be perfectly acceptable for beginning students, he says, but it needs to have at least 66 full-size (not toy-size) keys, and be placed on a stand, with a bench of the appropriate height, in a room with good lighting.
The piano needs to live with you, too. “I can’t tell you how many times someone has said to me, ‘Oh, Grandma has a piano, so I’m going to practice there,’” says Barteck. “Unless you live with Grandma, you’re not going to see the progress that you want to see.”
Be a potted plant during practice time. “If your kid is the kind where you hear a couple of plinks and then total silence and you have to yell up the hall—‘Keep practicing! Turn off the TV!’—find a way to be in the room while they’re practicing,” says Barteck. Bring a book in, fold laundry, or read something on your phone, “so that you’re not staring at them, but you’re there.”
“Students, especially beginners, need to feel listened to,” agrees Besser. “Students whose parents lend an interested ear or are physically present into room are more likely to progress with greater success” than those whose parents are just nagging them daily, asking, “Did you practice? Did you practice?”
Chop it up. When they practice, most kids want to sail through the entirety of each song a single time and call it a day, but “that’s really not the best use of time,” says Barteck. Students should break down the pieces they’re working on into small chunks—say, a single line or even a single measure they’ve been struggling with—and practice that section over and over until they’re comfortable with it.
There’s no magic number for the number of times your child should repeat the line or measure, she says. “Parents will say, ‘How many times should they practice something?’ And there’s no magic number where, okay, now your child knows this section, or this song, perfectly.” Instead, have your child set a timer and see how much progress they make getting comfortable with that small chunk of music in three minutes—or better yet, just have them play it until they feel comfortable with it, however long that takes.
Take a page from the sloth. “Little kids especially, they want to play quickly, but they need time to think, ‘I’m seeing a C on the page, I’m going to play a C. I’m seeing an E on the page, I’m going to play an E,’” says Barteck. You have to play something perfectly seven times to get it in your brain and “in your fingers,” but if you play it incorrectly, you have to play it a whopping 35 times perfectly after that to correct the mistake, she says. “So if you rush through and [incorrectly] play a D that first time, it’s going to take 35 repetitions to NOT play that D” by mistake the next time. So slooooow dooowwwwnn.
Gooey sludge, crunchy celery, and other signs of a good teacher. A good teacher will find creative ways to engage your child, and break the tension when your kid gets frustrated. During one lesson, Besser once emphasized every downbeat in a song by chomping down loudly on a piece of celery, causing his young student to dissolve into giggles. He also writes songs to fit students’ quirky requests—an “extra creepy” Halloween song, a Valentine song about Frankenstein, and yes, a song about celery.
When students get frustrated, Kelsey Reed, a piano teacher in Seattle, sometimes has kids sing the song in a silly voice, or play an old song they’re already good at.
Barteck lets students play Christmas songs year-round if they love Christmas, and writes out (or finds level-appropriate versions of) whatever pop song they're listening to. To break tension, sometimes she’ll play a mimic game, asking students to play notes that sound like walking through sludge, or walking on needles, or running away from a monster. “It gets the kids playing the instrument without having to internalize and execute something, and makes it fun,” says Barteck. “And then they’re okay to get back to the lesson.”
Lesson day, recital day, and how soon to expect “Piano Man.” Kids will be tempted not to practice on the day of the lesson (“But I’m going to play AT my lesson, Mom!!”), but if they don’t, the teacher will hear the child’s rusty warm-up, not her best playing. A quick run-through before the lesson means that your child arrives ready to show what she’s learned, and move forward from there.
Depending on the teacher, it’s likely okay for parents sit in on lessons, as long as they stay quiet. “Seven out of ten times, it’s a great idea to sit in on your kids’ lesson, because you’re going to hear what they should be working on,” says Barteck. Don’t go in if it causes your child more stress, however, or if you find you’re becoming a distraction.
As for recital day, realize that it’s not just a performance, it’s a learning experience. “Recitals are actually my best teaching tool,” says Filcek. “My students will really practice for a recital, and really get a song down.” Parents can help their children defuse nerves by holding “living room concerts” at home, where the child practices walking in, introducing herself, and performing the recital piece for the family just as she will in the performance.
As a parent, it’s important to remember that no teacher is going to have your child playing “Piano Man” after the first three lessons—and that’s okay. “Parents need to understand the time commitment needed—that it will be a little while and a lot of work before your kid will be able to sit down and play whatever they want,” says Reed. The result will be worth it, but like any new skill, it’s going to take time.
And one more thing: A good piano teacher will look for creative ways to try to instill a love for the piano in your child, and not just say, “Here’s a lesson book, kid—let’s slog through it.” But if you’re fighting about piano lessons because what your child really wants is to play the drums, “if you get that kid a drum kit, he will love going to lessons,” says Barteck (who, full disclosure, also teaches drums, voice, and most stringed instruments). There’s more than one way to participate in music, and if you help your child find it, you can give her something she’ll enjoy for the rest of her life.
A version of this article originally appeared on Lifehacker.com.